Catholic Reading Wednesday

With many thanks to our awesome curator, Karen Celano, you can delve into a faith-related news article each Wednesday! Karen writes:

In a recent New York Times Op-Ed, columnist Ross Douthat raised the question of why American parents seem to relish lamenting the difficulties of parenthood, a trend exemplified in memes and blogs all over the Internet, and he turns to Jennifer Senior’s new book, All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, for answers. Senior provides many sociological explanations for why modern parenthood is so challenging, including a rapidly shifting technological and political landscape (which makes it hard for parents to know what kind of world to prepare their children for), the lack of a comprehensive family policy in the U.S (when compared to Europe), and changes in the expectations we have of parents. (I find especially interesting her observation that parents' lives are more "child-centered" than before, and that the amount of time parents spend with their children have actually increased since the 1970s.) All of these factors have left parents more alone than ever in the difficult task of raising their children, and more existentially fearful of doing it right. (You can read more of Senior's analysis here.)

Douthat, for his part, focuses on Senior's argument regarding the shifting nature of interpersonal commitments in the twenty-first century. Because we live in a culture that shies away from establishing permanent commitments (consider, for example, the fact that some advocate for the establishment of short-term renewable marriage contracts!), we are fearful of the lifetime commitment it requires to raise a child. True commitment means choosing to sacrifice our wants and desires for the sake of another – and our culture's emphasis on individualism and autonomy discourages such a choice.

Yet these commitments remain important – and not just the commitment between parent and child. At least one scientific study has shown that an inconsistent home life can increase the risk of mental illness for adolescents, and a recent article in The Atlantic explores the ways in which absent or inconsistent father figures can lead to behavioral, academic, social, and emotional outcomes in their children. “The more transitions a child endures, the worse off he or she typically is,” says Andrew Cherlin, the director of the Hopkins Population Center at Johns Hopkins University. Working to establish stable relationships among all members of a family is a key part of parenting well.

Amid this climate of familial instability and the sociological challenges of modern parenthood, unborn children are the ones who suffer as it becomes easier and more acceptable to terminate “unwanted” pregnancies. Recent headlines from New York hail the fact that the abortion rate in New York City has dropped to 37%, which is an improvement from prior years but is still horrifically high. The same study revealed that more black children are aborted in New York City than are born alive. And the more difficult parenting becomes due to cultural trends and the absence of parental support from the broader society, the more unborn children will die as a result.

Parenting is daunting work. It always has been, and it always will be. But parents are increasingly losing the structures of support that they used to rely on in dealing with the challenges of parenthood. If we wish to mitigate the crisis of abortion in our country, all of these factors - sociological, cultural, and individual - have to be considered. How do we create a society that is truly supportive of family life? How do we create a culture that knows the value of self-sacrificing love? How do we teach, practice, and exemplify the importance of lifelong commitments? How do we, as individuals or as a parish community, encourage each other through the challenges of parenthood?

Douthat invokes the image of the "cheerful warrior" who willingly embraces the trials of parenthood and acknowledges the joy it brings. Senior argues that though parenting may not lead to personal happiness, it does lead to a joy which cannot be statistically quantified. This is what she calls the "paradox" of parenthood. Christians call this paradox participating in the Paschal Mystery, in which the greatest joy comes from taking on suffering for the sake of those we love. May Catholic parents be a sign to the world that the goal of human existence is not personal self-satisfaction, but the fulfillment that can only come from embracing the cross of love.