I feel that the very question on which Solomon premises his new book is itself a reflection of our warped cultural presumptions. Having a child is always a leap of faith, even if that child doesn't have special needs. Our children are never going to be exactly what we expected them to be, and at times we might find it difficult to 'love' everything that they are and everything that they do. I might have no right to speak about such things as my son has no challenging disabilities, but I feel that a Catholic understanding of how and why we have and love our children must flow from our understanding of how and why God created us. We have children not to create narcissistic extensions of ourselves that conform to our every expectation, but because we wish to share life with others and to find joy in relationship. We love our children the way God loves us: respectful of their individuality and freedom, delighting in the newness and surprise of each unique person, and forgiving of them even when they disappoint. I find Nehring's article most touching in her examination of how being with Eurydice has expanded her soul, showing her new ways to experience love and joy that she could not have predicted. But in order to have such fullness of love and joy, we have to let go of our fear of the unexpected and plunge into the unknown.
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In this article, Cristina Nehring critiques Andrew Solomon's new book Far From the Tree, which examines the lives of parents with special-needs children and asks: "Why do parents devote themselves to raising children who are nothing at all like the ones they thought they could love?" Nehring speaks of her experiences as a single mother raising a child with Down Syndrome, and describes the expanded capacity for love she has found in raising her daughter Eurydice. In her life-affirming testimony that challenges our cultural presumptions about how to measure the "worth" of human life, Nehring concludes: "Each of us has the ability to give only a little bit of joy to those around us. I would wager Eurydice gives as much as any person alive."
In this article, Cristina Nehring critiques Andrew Solomon's new book Far From the Tree, which examines the lives of parents with special-needs children and asks: "Why do parents devote themselves to raising children who are nothing at all like the ones they thought they could love?" Nehring speaks of her experiences as a single mother raising a child with Down Syndrome, and describes the expanded capacity for love she has found in raising her daughter Eurydice. In her life-affirming testimony that challenges our cultural presumptions about how to measure the "worth" of human life, Nehring concludes: "Each of us has the ability to give only a little bit of joy to those around us. I would wager Eurydice gives as much as any person alive."
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